Participating mindfully

Often when people are experiencing a high degree of anxiety their attention is pre-occupied. They may walk around in a daze, feel unreal or disconnected, and are unable to pay attention to what is going on around them. Internally they may be ruminating, worrying, or responding to high emotional arousal.

The skill of “participating” as a mindfulness skill is a very difficult skill- especially for people who have lots of emotional stuff going on inside of them lots of the time. The concept of participating is this idea that you throw yourself into the moment. In a way it is like shifting gears, going with the flow, and really working to put your attention to what is going on in the immediate environment. It is one thing to show up in your body, but it is another thing to show up with your mind. It can be effective to show up for the party, movie, meeting, or event even though something really stressful is going on. You can practice shifting gears to show up for the immediate moment or situation- and perhaps shift gears again when you go back to worrying about what is stressful! At the very least, notice how you feel when you are working hard to connect, participate, be part of, and include yourself. Notice how it feels when you are worrying, ruminating, stressed out, and under emotional threat- and possibly shut down to the world around you.

Using the skill of participating means keeping your eyes open to what is going on around you; listening, feeling, and being touched by the things that matter. When you put yourself out there into the world, you risk being vulnerable. Engaging, interacting, and participating in the world helps connect to people in meaningful ways, find people that share similar struggles, and feel more real. When people have extremely stressful situations, they may be able to mitigate the stressors by being present to the things that could be enjoyable despite being stressed out. Sometimes trying to participate doesn’t yield immediate rewards, and therefore takes a lot of effort.

Are there ways in which you are sitting back, playing it safe, and not participating? Consider what it would be like to share with someone how you really, actually feel about something. What would the risk entail?

Really putting yourself out there is hard.