Use a list of emotion words to help you identify emotion words. A lot of people have a limited range of description words. Use the internet or google Marsha Linehan’s Observing and Describing Emotions handouts to help you.
What does your experience tell you? In your history of having certain experiences with certain situations, is your gut trying to get you to pay attention to something that is hard to pay attention to?
What actions do you tend to take or do when you have feelings? Sometimes identifying the behavior of an emotion (withdrawing, avoiding) can help you identify feelings (sad, anxious).
If you have a feeling ask yourself where you feel it. Some have a “gut feeling” or “gut instinct.” For myself, when I am ruminating or angry, I feel my head spinning or grinding. Some people feel a constriction in their chest or a change in how they are breathing. Some feel a deep pit or heaviness in the bottom of their stomach.
Is there a metaphor, animal, or weather that matches how you feel? Sometimes feelings are best described in the visual arts. If you could draw or paint how you feel, what image might show up?
When did you first start having the feeling? Does the intensity go down or up, and if so, what changes its intensity? How long does it last?
Is it hard for you to have mixed feelings, or feel opposite things? For instance, being both sad and glad about changes, or angry and in love with the same person?
What do you want your feelings to communicate? If someone else were to take action because of how you are expressing or communicating your feelings, what action would that be?
Make a list of all the things that are stressing you out right now. Think of as many as you can, and identify how stressed you are about each one on a scale of 1-10. Sometimes we don’t connect the feeling experience with the life stressors, and this can be both validating as well as help you move towards problem solving.
Are you avoiding any feelings that are difficult or painful? Consider what distractions are no longer working for you and what it might mean to hold space for yourself with tenderness and compassion.
